As of yesterday, I have one month before I’m in NYC—and less than that before I leave (I’m taking Amtrak). I’m excited and scared and sad. I’ll for sure be back for Winter Break and probably Thanksgiving in November, but the longest I’ve ever spent away from the Bay Area is a month, and it got hard toward the end. This is another stream-of-consciousness+ramble+photo+update thing.
Anxiety #
The past couple weeks, I’ve been doing virtual pre-move in stuff online for school, and beginning to think about packing and logistics. In the last week, roughly since getting home from our Chicago trip, I’ve started thinking about goodbyes, and it’s beginning to click in my mind that I’m really not going to see this place for a long time. I feel whiny for even writing about this or having these thoughts, but I’m scared. So much of what has made me love San Francisco so much is the community I’ve become a part of, and I won’t be able to play as active a role in a that from 3,000 miles away. Our little urbanist-gay-bike-politic community is small at its core and deeply bound together by wins and losses and death and triumph and friendships. I’m really scared that months away will begin to push me out of the communities and relationships I care so much about.
Past experiences have made clear to me that I just don’t have the bandwidth to maintain non-immediate relationships when distance is added to the equation. I’m scared to live a life devoid of the everyday comfort of the Scenic Routes community, I don’t know what to do without being able to organize with SSR, and I am going to be arriving in NYC with very little of a local support network; I’ve only got two high school friends I still talk with that live there.
I’m dreading goodbyes. I expect to be a tearful mess at whatever ends up being my last time at the shop, and with my close shop friends—I’m only leaving a couple months, but fuck. Even more I’m dreading the rapid approach of my last moments inhabiting the same physical space as my partner. I’m a ball of anxiety right now, especially when I forget my SSRIs, lol.
Unfortunately, since I’m leaving the state of California sniffle, I’ll have to find a new therapist and psychiatrist too.
Should I build a read-it-later app? #
In my quest to bring all my reading and notes together into one place,1 2 I’ve been playing with a lot of different tools. For a while now, I’ve been using Logseq as my container for all my notes, tasks and writing, and Omnivore as my reading app for web content. Email newsletters, RSS feeds and save-for-later pieces all go to Omnivore, where I read them. Notes I take in Omnivore are imported to Logseq. Books I read on my Kindle are imported into my Logseq graph as well.3.
I’m not completely satisfied with Omnivore, but it seems like it’s the best option that meets my needs. I’m not satisfied with my Kindle either, partially for similar reasons. Taking linked notes on a Kindle feels incredibly clunky, and the import process is suboptimal, and prone to breaking and Amazon’s frustrating software limitations. Omnivore is better, but it still feels clunky to take linked notes in it. I’m beginning to think the ideal reading set up for me would be an e-ink tablet running Android, with a Logseq plugin acting as the reading app, enabling native Logseq note taking. Switching between devices/apps to take notes while reading is a deal breaker. I’m wondering if it might be worth it to buy a Boox tablet and build a Logseq plugin.
I’m trying my best to look forward to some stuff. I have some goals and things I’m excited to get to do in NYC, and I figured making a list would help.
Walking Manhattan #
Ever since reading about a couple people who walked every mile of street in Manhattan,4 I’ve wanted to do the same. In order to make it more measurably, achievable and less daunting, I plan to start by targeting completion of everything below 14th St. As I’ll be living on or near 14th St, this should be convenient, and help encourage me to try new streets in my every day commute to classes. On my last visit, I wanted to walk all of Broadway in Manhattan, but ended up not having enough time before leaving for Boston to stay with friends.
The LIRR at Woodside #
In the last couple weeks, I’ve become enraptured in the Long Island Railroad. Call it a special interest, a rabbit hole or one of my various diagnosis. I’ve been watching videos, reading—including a morbid Wikipedia binge on New York State railroad accidents—and otherwise engulfing myself in the LIRR. My friend Jeremy Zorek brought me railfanning at Woodside in Queens last November, and it was super fun. During evening rush hour, local and express trains use every track, stopping or whooshing through at 80mph. Coupled with the 7 train above (which crossed the LIRR a couple other times, all scenic), it’s a fun place to be as someone with train on the brain. I’ve even been playing with the notion of trying to become an LIRR engineer at some point—it’s replaced my NYC subway train operator dream. That one is a probably not a great idea for my lifestyle though, I should just buy Train Sim World 4.
Bikes #
I’m hoping to get a job at a local bike shop in NYC this year or next. I’m eyeing Bike Plant in Bed-Stuy, for their Scenic Routesean vibes.
For me, one of the great joys in life is exploring a new place by bike, most recently Chicago. I’m excited to do the same in NYC, and to learn all the weird little routing tricks. My current mental map of NYC is based mostly on the subway, and I’m excited to further develop that while layering on bike and foot routes.
I’m really excited to have my own bike. I’m bringing Shrimp on Amtrak. I’m still hoping to have some time and money before I leave to make some modifications to it, but if not, I’ll survive. The marvel of a flat place, I recently discovered in Chicago, is that you can ride on tops of the drops.
My really cool friends #
A couple friends of mine from high school now live in NYC and attend Columbia and Barnard, and I’m excited to be within want-to-get-dinner distance of them again. Meeting new friends, however daunting, is also something I’m looking forward to. I’m excited to have more people in my life from more backgrounds who will complicate my understanding of the world.
Speaking of my awesome friends who are complicating my understanding of the world, my longtime friend Leanne has recently been telling her story and working to expose the abuse and profiteering of the wilderness camp child therapy industry. It’s awful and horrible and she’s been doing a far better job of managing the press circuit than I did last summer during our “ConeSF” anti-AV press blitz. You should listen to this interview she gave. If there’s one thing you click in this post, it should be this.